Crystal Quagmire, Mistress Vita, Teen People Editor

Himself, Vern

Alyssa Milano

Himself - Narrator

Donna, Gina, Lisa, Maid, Puerto Rico Girl

Dotty Campbell, English Mother at airport, French Teacher

Jim Kaplan, Various, Al Harrington, Ernie the Giant Chicken, Evil Monkey, Robin Williams, Announcer, Buzz Killington, TV Announcer, A Professional Man...

Diane Simmons, Charles Lindbergh's Wife, Coco, Diane Simmons as Imperial Newscaster, Eva Braun, Greta, Jolene, Nancy the Postal Lady

Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi

Farmer's Date, Karen Griffin (Heavy Flo), Philippa

Death's Mother

Girl, Tonya, Wife

Ryan Reynolds, Overweight Guy