Dr. Michael Milano, Hammer

Himself, Vern

Alyssa Milano

Himself - Narrator

Donna, Gina, Lisa, Maid, Puerto Rico Girl

Little Girl, Baby Lois, Girl Singing ABCs

Jim Kaplan, Various, Al Harrington, Ernie the Giant Chicken, Evil Monkey, Robin Williams, Announcer, Buzz Killington, TV Announcer, A Professional Man...

Diane Simmons, Charles Lindbergh's Wife, Coco, Diane Simmons as Imperial Newscaster, Eva Braun, Greta, Jolene, Nancy the Postal Lady

Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi

Crystal Quagmire, Mistress Vita, Teen People Editor

Death's Mother

Girl, Tonya, Wife

Ryan Reynolds, Overweight Guy