Jason Voorhees, Dale Robinson, Vacuum Repairman

Himself, Vern

Alyssa Milano

Himself - Narrator

Ruth Cochamer, Singing Cheerleader

Little Girl, Baby Lois, Girl Singing ABCs

Jim Kaplan, Various, Al Harrington, Ernie the Giant Chicken, Evil Monkey, Robin Williams, Announcer, Buzz Killington, TV Announcer, A Professional Man...

Diane Simmons, Charles Lindbergh's Wife, Coco, Diane Simmons as Imperial Newscaster, Eva Braun, Greta, Jolene, Nancy the Postal Lady

Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi

Crystal Quagmire, Mistress Vita, Teen People Editor

Death's Mother

Esther

Ryan Reynolds, Overweight Guy